A Hallow Shell

Death is what I seek. Death is what I shall get.

Sun, 19 May 2013 20:07:37 -0700

My patience is growing thinner and thinner by the day.

Sun, 19 May 2013 19:24:46 -0700

As they days go by, I lose something. A feeling, an emotion, a simple memory. It’s always something, and then I stand before the world, numbed by all that’s gone wrong. I find myself in my room a lot more, just staring at the ceiling and thinking about suicide, all the consequences and all the ways to do it. I try to block myself from everyone else as I’m fading. I try to keep away so my feelings will be spared, and they won’t act as emotionally when everything ends. I stare at my teachers with pleading eyes, hoping that they’ll notice something’s wrong when I put my head down in class and I don’t turn in my homework. I like to think about it. Being somewhere far away. Locked in a room. Isolated. You could be crazy on your own, and know that there are people just like you. To know that you could escape everything, and that there might be a solution besides suicide. Maybe it’ll be fun to go to a ward, when they numb me and make me feel absolutely nothing. Maybe that’s what I need. Nothing. Nothing could save me from losing everything, but even then, I still lose myself within the process. Either I die, or I try to live a life where I’m away from everybody.

Photo

Sun, 19 May 2013 17:02:46 -0700

Just finished throwing up

Sun, 19 May 2013 13:36:17 -0700

I'm seriously considering to check myself into a hospital.

Sun, 19 May 2013 08:07:11 -0700

Would it be best to check myself into one if I’m this suicidal?

Wow. Really? Society is so fucked up. And then people wonder why...

Sun, 19 May 2013 06:28:03 -0700

Wow. Really? Society is so fucked up. And then people wonder why I want to kill myself. This says it all.

This is what pops up? That’s messed up. Cutters aren’t emo,...

Sun, 19 May 2013 06:19:53 -0700

This is what pops up? That’s messed up. Cutters aren’t emo, they’re just people who have no other way to express their pain and suffering. Cutters aren’t weak, they’re strong enough to put pain upon themselves and to let all their emotions out. Cutters aren’t attention seekers. We use Tumblr as an escape from having to hide everything, from having to wear pants and long sleeves in 70 degree weather. A place to be ourselves.

fyeridan: “This a photograph taken from the teenager (shirtless...

Sun, 19 May 2013 06:03:21 -0700

fyeridan:

“This a photograph taken from the teenager (shirtless guy) named Austin Schafer’s Twitter account, of a kid being tied up and beaten by upper classmen at Columbia High School in Nampa, Idaho.

This is a recent photograph and one where the school’s authorities have not taken action yet. Remember this kid’s name and repost this picture.

The Neanderthal trash who are bullying him deserve to have this picture plastered all over the Internet for prospective college admission offices to see so their career pinnacle can be asking me which kind of soup I want at Olive Garden.

If you’ve been a victim of bullying or know someone who has, please repost.”

I’m so bad at not being good.

Sat, 18 May 2013 21:57:15 -0700

I’m so bad at not being good.

Why am I still here?

Sat, 18 May 2013 18:00:47 -0700

I just want to die. I’ve tried so hard to see the light but it only ends in darkness. I want to cut until I bleed and can’t feel anymore. I want to close my eyes and leave this world. The only things around me are my boyfriend and a three year old.But even then, I’m not afraid to take my own life. To be somewhere instead of this hell. I’m scared. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to fucking die.

Photo

Sat, 18 May 2013 17:38:56 -0700

"We’re a broken family, aren’t we?"

Sat, 18 May 2013 15:38:50 -0700

““We’re a broken family, aren’t we?””

- Lilo & Stitch

I keep waking up.

Sat, 18 May 2013 05:33:05 -0700

No matter how many times I shut my eyes and try to dream, I can’t. I’m trying to forget about all this depression, the suicidal thoughts. Yesterday I almost broke down during my last class and I cried for an hour before I managed to calm down. But even then I was still shaking. I was still doing inside, wanting to die in the outside as well.

Photo

Fri, 17 May 2013 17:05:45 -0700

After a while I just stopped caring, and I let the monster out.

Thu, 16 May 2013 20:41:34 -0700

After a while I just stopped caring, and I let the monster out.

Another selfie

Thu, 16 May 2013 19:14:46 -0700

Another selfie

Ergg. I haven’t posted any recent selfies on here. Maybe I should do a couple.

Thu, 16 May 2013 18:04:38 -0700

Ergg. I haven’t posted any recent selfies on here. Maybe I should do a couple.

The lie that everyone tells their friends.

Thu, 16 May 2013 08:53:44 -0700

Friend: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, just tired.

Friend: How are you?

Thu, 16 May 2013 08:50:15 -0700

Friend: How are you?
Me: I'm still alive. Whether you take that as good or bad, that's your choice.

The pain hurts so much.

Tue, 14 May 2013 00:31:14 -0700